The Fullness of Joy

Psalm 16

Yesterday I came to the conclusion that I have been more short tempered and less willing to compromise than I usually am. I've also become a lot more cynical than usual. I don't know the reasons why, maybe it's the wanting to get through my studies on time, maybe it's having multiple jobs and wanting to finish my studies on time. Maybe it's just old age. Whatever the reasons are I have to stop being this way. I may end up hurting someone who has nothing to do with my mood.

There is one thing I've noticed, though; I'm putting my trust in other things more than I'm putting trust in my God. I'm depending on what others can or will do for me instead of focusing on what I can do for myself with the help of my God. You would think that by now I would have learned.

I was going to take a break from all things today - no studies, no email, no blog, nothing. As I sat on the couch searching for something to watch on TV, I became restless and could hear my computer calling to me. The moment I opened it, started it, and went to the pages I usually go to I felt a sort of peace come over me.

Of course having my PC open will always lead me to the lectionary readings for the day. After reading today's Psalm I know why I felt a certain kind of peace. God reminded me that I need God as much as I need everyone else and as much as I need myself. In retrospect those around me weren't doing or saying anything more or less than who or what they are. It was my interpretation of what was going on that was muddled.

Yesterday in our Youth class we talked about a young man who had to get a quadruple limb amputation due to a bomb going off while he was serving in Afghanistan. We saw how he pulled on the strength of those around him to go from hospital bed to learning how to run in 5 months. The observation was made that our lives are filled with these people, people who want nothing more than for us to succeed and are willing to give it everything they have to do so.

My life is filled with these people, and with this new-found realization I will go forward in the knowledge I am loved by me, others, and my God. It's good to be reminded of that fact - that through the love that surrounds us we can find everlasting joy.