What To Do, What To Do?

Romans 7:15-25a

One of the things most people struggle with is how to choose between what is the right thing to do, and doing what is right. There are times when the two are the same, but sometimes we find ourselves in a place where we have to choose between the better of two outcomes. Sometimes the one we choose goes against our better instincts, but is the right thing to do.

For example, I knew a young man who came to me for advice a few years ago. His conundrum was one I've come across before, but is never an easy one to muddle through. He had seen the girlfriend of one of his best friends with someone else, and wondered what he should do. Not an easy one for a 16-year old to have to decide. On the one hand if he tells his friend he would feel responsible for either breaking up the couple or possibly losing a good friend who would choose to not believe him. On the other hand if he didn't say anything he would risk seeing his friend be deeply hurt, then have the friendship broken when his friend found out he knew about it earlier.

What to do?

Many of us face similar decisions when it comes to our faith. Do we follow the way we have always followed and been taught to follow, or do we allow ourselves to explore something that might be different?

On the one hand, we might alienate the people we've grown up with and shared these same beliefs with. We might seem to them to be pulling away from their strong-held ideas and rules on how to live our lives. On the other hand, we run the chance of trying something new and discover that it's what we like, and lose those friends anyway because we're no longer following the same way of life.

What to do?

Paul tells us to do what we know and feel is the right thing to do. He tries to make the point that if we blindly follow a set of prescribed rules we are no better than being a sinner (someone who breaks the relationships between ourselves, those around us, and God). In Paul's own way he is trying to say that to follow what you know to be not right for you, is to follow a way that will separate you from the love your self is searching for.

There are no easy answers. In the case of the young man I spoke of earlier I asked him what he thought was the right thing to do. He said to tell his friend so I told him that's what he should do. He did, and as he thought would happen the friend accused him of lying and being a deceitful friend. However, in the months that followed that friend discovered for himself that his girlfriend was indeed fooling around on him and apologized, making the friendship between these two deeper and with more meaning.

Going with what feels right isn't always easy, but doing other than that can lead to many other things which self-denial could bring. So, what to do? Open your heart and search what is inside you. Don't rely on only your head, and at the same time have an open mind. Know that the way you choose, as long as it has the possibility to deepen your relationships with God, others, and yourself, is the right way. And the way you choose will be the way God walks along with you, regardless.