One of the people I work with mentioned to me yesterday that this "thing" with Robin Williams is really bothering her. I knew what she meant, but I asked any, "What thing?"
Her reply was nervous, saying words like, "You know, the thing. The thing that happened the other day. The thing. You know."
She couldn't say the words, so I said it. "Are you talking about his suicide, or his issue with depression?" She was silent for a while before quietly saying, "His depression."
As I mentioned the other day, depression for most people leads them to a place where they truly, deeply believe that they have nothing to offer and nobody cares. Taking the final step towards making the decision to take their own lives isn't much of a stretch when they get to that point.
So, what can we (those who care) do when we find ourselves in front of someone with depression? The truth is, most times you won't know when you're in front of someone who is suffering with depression. They might look sad, maybe distracted or disconnected, but we won't necessarily know they are depressed.
You don't always have to use words to do this. Sometimes just sitting with someone in silence is as loud a reminder about shared love as is a tight hug and strong words. Sometimes sending someone a message just to say "hi" is as strong as a a well-thought out card with words written inside. Sometimes telling a relative or a friend to tell someone you said hello can speak louder than if you told that person yourself.
The important thing to remember is to do these things all the time with everyone. We will never know if someone is depressed, but we will know when our love is appreciated. Nobody walks the paths of their life's journey alone. Nobody.
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