It’s Not About Us

John 6:1-15

The story I’m about to tell you is just a story, the words are mine but the message comes through the guidance of God’s Holy Spirit.

Johnny’s mother stood in the kitchen, looking out the small window above the sink, waiting for the school bus to bring her son home. She worried so much about Johnny; he wasn’t like most kids his age. In fact, he’s what the teachers in his school called special, a person with limited bur promising abilities.

Those teachers were a lot nicer than the neighborhood kids who had other names for Johnny, and a lot nicer than the neighborhood parents who simply called their kids away from Johnny whenever he went outside to play. None of those things seemed to bother the young boy, as he went through each and every moment of his day smiling, laughing, playing and learning with the curiosity a 10-year old boy should have.

For that, his ability to find goodness in all things, Johnny’s mother was most proud. Still, though, she worried that he may grow up without knowing what true friendship was, or worse – not knowing what true love is. Her heart began to get that gnawing pain she’s become accustomed to just as the sound of a school bus echoed from down the street.

That sound always had a way of filling her with happiness. Her son was almost home. Soon he would be rushing through those doors with the brightest, most genuine smile a boy could have. That was honestly the highlight of her day, when Johnny came home.

The school bus stopped in view of that small kitchen window. She watched as the kids got off the bus and run towards their own homes, high-fiving one another as they laughed at each other’s jokes, or walking with their bodies hunched closely together as they told those secrets kids their age had.

Johnny was always the last one off the bus and he didn’t join in with the laughs, high-fives, or secret-telling. That fact stopped bothering his mother a couple years ago when she realized that every time he stepped off the bus he had a smile that brightened the sky a little more and a look of pure wonder in his eyes as he caught a glimpse of the birds singing in the trees or the flutter of a butterfly’s wings.

It was in those eyes Johnny’s mother found the strength and courage to get through each day.

Today was a little different, though. Johnny came out of the bus full of excitement. He clumsily leaped from the top step onto the ground, almost falling, which at first startled his mom, but soon enough made her laugh softly. He didn’t stop to admire the birds, or feel the wind, or even notice the new flowers she planted in the yard. Instead he ran as fast as he could towards the house, his little feet trying desperately to keep up with his chubby little body.

The front door flung open as Johnny pushed his way through. His exuberance was obvious as he tossed his bag aside and yelled out to his mom, “I have to get started right away!” then ran down the hall to his room. His mother could do nothing but stand there in absolute silence before finally getting her feet to move in the direction of her son’s room.

Standing in the doorway she could hardly believe what she saw. Johnny had taken every crayon, colored pencil, and scrap of construction paper out of his art supply drawer and spread them across his bedroom floor.

“Mom,” Johnny called out, “I need more supplies, I need more paper, I need more colors.”

“What for?” she inquired.

Johnny explained quickly and with so much excitement in his voice that the only words she could make out were Valentine’s Day, make cards, whole class. When she finally calmed him down enough she found out that the teacher had given the class an assignment to celebrate Valentine’s Day. They were to make cards to say how much they appreciated the others in the class and bring them to school on the holiday.

At first Johnny’s mother smiled. Then, just as quickly, her stomach sank with that feeling she sometimes gets – she was afraid that nobody would give her son a card. She thought about having a talk with him about how some people may not return the gift of appreciation he was offering, but all she saw whenever she looked at his face was pure joy; the kind of joy nobody should ever take away.

 She helped Johnny make a list of everyone he wanted to give a card to. He told her there were many people he wanted to let know they were appreciated. The list grew long as not only every one of his classmates was on it, but so was his 5^th grade teacher as well as his 4^th, 3^rd, 2^nd, 1^st, and Kindergarten teachers as well. There was the principal as well as the assistant principal. He wanted to be sure to include the nice lady that sits in the office who always said hi to him. Johnny even wanted to let the janitor know he was appreciated for all of his hard work.

When all was said and done there were almost 40 people for whom Johnny had to make cards. His mom realized there was nowhere enough material on the floor to make that many cards, so they went to the store to pick up what Johnny needed. He was sure to get the colors of construction paper he knew some people liked as their favorite color. He made sure to get stickers that said things like “thank you” or “for a friend” on them.

For the next 2 weeks Johnny and his mom worked on those cards. They laughed as they talked about the funny things which took place in school that day. They shared special secrets that a son and his mom could only share. They thought really hard about different ways each person was appreciated. “I appreciate how you smile at me during lunch” said one card. “I appreciate how you told that boy to leave me alone” said another. “I appreciate the funny jokes you tell on the bus” said yet another.

It was amazing to Johnny’s mom that no 2 cards had the same message. It was as though Johnny was working extra hard to be sure each message and each card was as unique as the relationship Johnny had with those to whom the card was going to be given.

Johnny’s mom couldn’t help but cry herself to sleep every night during those 2 weeks, knowing that when Valentine’s Day came around Johnny’s world view would be shattered. While Johnny thought about all his friends and how to show his appreciation for them, she knew that nobody would think enough of Johnny to give him a card.

Valentine’s Day had finally come. Johnny was up before his mom and excitedly ran into her room. “It’s today, mom. It’s today!”

Johnny had carefully placed all of his cards into his backpack the night before, being careful to not bend the corners or crease the edges. He sat at the breakfast table with that backpack already on his back, as though he wanted to be sure to keep guard so nothing could happen to it.

He ate his oatmeal and bananas very quickly, not wanting to waste any time so that he would be at the bus stop when the bus came. He had to be reminded to clean up after himself – wash his hands, put the dishes in the sink – thing he normally did on his own. His mother could see that there would be no getting through to him this morning, Johnny was just too excited.

He did what his mother asked and ran out the door, forgetting to kiss his mother goodbye. All she could do was shake her head while a big smile filled her face. She was happy for her son, she was filled with the same joy he was. She also knew that she had to prepare for the end of the day, when Johnny would be coming off that bus.

Lunch came around and Johnny’s mother had something small to eat as she was nervous to her stomach. She tried to distract herself by cleaning and gardening, but nothing seemed to work. So she decided that after lunch she would sit down with her bible.

She was currently reading the Gospel of John. She found the stories in that book to be engaging. She had taken a bible study class in church where she learned about the community of John and how they lived in a time of terrible persecution for Christians. She had learned that the book of John was written specifically for Christians so they could place the focus of their lives on the teachings of Jesus. She found it comforting to be a Christian and know that the Johannine community found peace by centering their lives on Jesus, just as she was about to do.

She opened the Bible to where she had left off and read the story of Jesus feeding the multitudes. She thought it interesting that Jesus was really looking for some peace and quiet when he was suddenly disrupted by a large crowd of people. But, if she had to be honest, she had heard this story so many times that she brushed over it, her mind drifting once again to her son.

Her thoughts came back to the story when that little voice inside her said, “You might know what Jesus did, but do you know why?”

This made her read more closely. Unlike other accounts of this story from the other Gospels this one did not say Jesus had compassion for the crowd. It didn’t give a reason as to why Jesus wanted the crowd fed. Sure, there was the little boy, and the disciples questioning of Jesus’ motives, but that one piece was missing. What was John trying to say?

She had remembered from the bible study that the Johannine community thought it was important to get one particular message through; the way into God’s favor went through Jesus Christ and his teaching that we must all love God, love one another, and love ourselves.

To the Johannine, the feeding of the 5000 wasn’t about what Jesus could do, or the greatness of Jesus. To the Johannine the feeding of the 5000 was about Jesus showing the way to God.

With that in her mind Johnny’s mother came across the verse which said, “When Jesus realized that they were about to come and take him by force to make him king, he withdrew again to the mountain by himself.” and realized that she had been looking at this story all wrong. Jesus himself had to run away from those who tried to make it about him. Jesus had no intent on becoming king because Jesus knew there was already a king: God

She had lost track of time and saw on the clock that the bus would soon be here. She had meant to do so much more. She wanted to bake cookies for Johnny, she wanted to make sure his favorite books were nearby, she wanted to wear that pretty blue dress that always made him smile and tell her she was pretty.

She had wanted to make sure that when Johnny came home he would be able to find happiness.

She looked through the small kitchen window as she heard the bus echoing down the street. The bus stopped right in front of that window, and as usual she watched as kids got off the bus with their high-fives and secret telling. She saw a few of them run home with colorful construction paper in their hands, yelling, “Mom, look what I got.”

Also as usual, Johnny was the last one off the bus. Her eyes could barely watch as he moved a little slower, his shoulders slumped and his head down as he shuffle-walked towards their home. She noticed his backpack was open and empty. He wasn’t holding any colorful pieces of construction paper in his hand.

The door opened slowly as he tried to push it. He looked weak and tired, as though every ounce of energy had been taken from his body. She walked towards him and gave him the kind of hug mother’s give their children when they don’t know how else to fix their pain. She was on her knees when she placed her hand under his chin, and lifting his head so their eyes met she asked him how his day was. No sooner did the question come out did she feel her heart drop and tears form in her eyes.

He simply looked up, locked his eyes onto hers, smiled that joyous smile he is known for, and said, “I didn’t miss anyone, mom. I told them all how much I appreciated them.”

As her tears of heartbreak turned into tears of pure happiness a knock came to the front door. It was the neighbor and her daughter. Johnny’s mom opened the door, trying her best to wipe the tears from her eyes and look presentable. The little girl walked into the home and brought out from behind her back a card made of blue construction paper with red hearts. She handed it to Johnny and in a small, still voice said, “I want you to know I appreciate you too.”

God is with us all.   Amen.