As I was trying to write this sermon the other day, my mind kept wandering. I honestly felt unsettled in my heart and soul as I tried to write what I wanted to say from my mind. For me, that style of writing a sermon never works as I need to be fully connected to the words from the bible and how it is God is trying to talk through me. So, as much as I didn’t want to postpone writing my sermon, I closed my laptop and waited until God had something God wanted to say.
I said good morning and she didn’t respond. I spoke a little louder and she turned towards me. Then, with an almost satisfied look on her face, she said to me that she didn’t know the shooter or anyone who had been hurt. I was confused at first, but remembered that she was from Oregon, and perhaps she was talking about the most recent school shooting.
She was. She must have noticed my confusion because she went on to explain that she was from the same town where the college was located and had actually attended that school. She had also tutored many students who had gone to that school and had a very close relationship with many who still taught there. She once again said that she was glad she didn’t know anyone, or the families of anyone, who had been involved.
She is a Christian, very much involved with the Church of Latter Day Saints as a Sunday School teacher, and she asked if I would say a prayer for her as she was struggling with the news and thinking about the families of all those who were shot, as well as all those in the community who must now feel unsafe to leave their own homes.
Our conversation turned towards the shooter. We both felt very sorry for him and his family as well. We began talking about all the other shootings which seem to be plaguing our communities across the States. We took note at how, for a vast majority of those shootings, the description of the shooter’s personalities had all been the same: quiet, distant, feeling as though they are not part of the community, a loner. We noticed that these shooters had one thing in common; they felt as though nobody cared about them or for them.
Almost as an afterthought I said, “Imagine if they had reason to believe they were cared about. Imagine if they knew they were cared for. Imagine if they understood that there are people who do love them. Would they still find it necessary to do the things they did? Would they find it necessary to seek attention in the way they did?”
That’s when it hit us both. What if instead of feeling like the outcast, these hurt souls felt as part of a community who cared for and loved them? Would their hearts still have found the hatred it needed to do the things they did?
I began thinking about today’s passage. My focus couldn’t get off the first verse where Jesus says, “I’m praying for them. I’m not praying for the world but for those you gave me, because they are yours.” As that verse began working its way through me, I suddenly felt the intimacy of those words. I could feel how Jesus was about to plea for those to whom he was closest.
I began thinking about just how close Jesus was to his disciples. I began thinking about how for 3 years he had traveled paths that were sometimes difficult with them. I could see him sitting with them to share meals, heal the sick, and argue with scribes and priests. I could see how those other intimate teaching moments with his closest followers all led to this one moment in their lives; this one moment when Jesus fully understands what is going to happen to him and how he prays that God will continue to be with them, guiding and teaching them as they, too, will begin to travel their own paths with their own followers.
I read on and came to the verse closer to the end which says, “I’m not praying only for them but also for those who believe in me because of their word.” I began thinking about those people who feel as though they don’t belong to any community and who feel as though they don’t have anyone who cares for and loves them. I asked myself, “What if the intent of Jesus in this prayer was that God help his followers to bring into their communities all who they meet by teaching them about the unconditional love and acceptance of God?”
As many of you know I work as an Educational Assistant at Kapolei High School. My job involves working with the Special Education Department of the DOE to assist special needs children with their academics. That job description sounds rather cold, and is far less of an accurate description of what I actually do.
It’s not listed as a part of my official duties, but during the school year I find myself building close relationships with the students placed in my care. We talk about family and friends. We talk about things they did over the weekend or over the breaks. We also talk about their personal feelings and how they sometimes feel like they don’t belong.
It was also sad to watch him during recess and lunch or after school when he would sit by himself. I would watch as other kids talked and joked around, but how they would never stop to say hi to him. One day I asked him how this made him feel, how he found himself reacting to the fact that he didn’t have much friends. He told me it made him feel lonely sometimes, especially when he watched some of the couples on campus holding hands.
I watched his eyes as they started to tear a little. I could literally feel how sad and lonely this young man felt. I told him there were a lot of people who cared about him to which he replied he knew. But as he pointed out they were people like his mom and aunty or me. He didn’t have friends his own age.
That year was the first year our school had started a Best Buddies club. Best Buddies is a club where the socially awkward could go to meet people who were just like them. The club organized outings such as hikes, bowling, and going to the movies in the hopes that the club members could make friends with people their same age.
I encouraged the young man I worked with to join the club, and he refused – at first. As the year went on, and with a constant push from me and other adults, he finally went to a club meeting. I’m not sure what happened at that meeting, but when I saw him the next day he was full of a different energy, one that was positive and filled with life.
He excitedly pulled me aside and told me he was going to the movies with his friends. I couldn’t help but widely smile as his joy radiated and filled my heart. I asked him who was going and he quickly listed names of people I didn’t know. I asked him what movie they were going to and he said he forgot. I continued to smile, and laugh a little, as his excitement grew and grew and grew.
I want to say that for the first time in his life he felt truly accepted by people his own age, and that helped him to overcome the feeling of being lonely and unloved.
I’ll also say that the path which he was on wasn’t a pretty one. He often talked about what it would be like if he never existed. He often talked about how nothing mattered because of how nobody cared. He often got very close to talking about acting in a violent way towards others or himself. There were times I had to take him to a counselor or teacher for talking that way, not because I wanted to, but because the laws required me to. And I often knew that he held a lot back from me because he knew that if he said certain things I would have to turn him in.
I never liked those laws. They separate me from being in a complete relationship with those whom God has placed in my life. But, regardless of his dark thoughts and my inability to fully be his pastor, I was still able to find a path for his life which led to pure joy which became a gateway to peace.
Jesus knew the time had come when he will no longer be able to guide his followers. Jesus knew that those who God had entrusted to him must now find a way to move forward on their own, albeit not alone. Jesus’ prayer is that his followers find a way to live in unity, not just with God through him, but with one another, as well as with all those they meet along the way as they travel their individual paths. His prayer is that the love of God finds a way to live through his followers, just as it lived through him and into them, so that everyone will come to know how that love brings peace and joy.
Jesus’ prayer is that through us darkness will be overcome by peace, and that peace will find a way to enter into and take hold of all that is God’s creation. Jesus’ prayer is that we find a way to be unified as one people. The way we do this is one life, one love, at a time; starting with ours.
God is with us all. Amen.
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