Today is the official first day of my summer break. Summer school ended yesterday and let me say here and now it ended on a high note. The last few days were more than pleasant, they were actually enjoyable. I spent quality time with the Youth in the class, laughed, was silly, and just did what I do in being the person I am.
Through the process of those final days I now feel restored. In the last 4 weeks I honestly felt my inner person changing into someone I didn't like. I was becoming negative, was too serious about minor things, and became somewhat of a grouchy old man. Those who know me will tell you I am none of those things.
But I had to go through this recent journey to get to the realization that sometimes situations will arise which have the possibility of creating in me this alternate person. This is what the last 4 weeks have taught me; recognize when I am becoming someone I'm not and do what needs to be done to not let it happen. And in the process continue to build relationships with God, others, and myself.
Sounds difficult, and it can be, but with Jesus at my side I'm sure this is something I can do.
Friday, June 29, 2012
Thursday, June 28, 2012
When All Else Fails
Today's passage from Mark is one of those we've (well, I've) read many times. The story of Jesus' unintentional healing of the hemorrhaging woman while on his way to heal a synagogue leader's daughter. Once again I find myself amazed in finding a verse I've obviously glossed over in the past.
Mark 5:26 says, "She endured much under many physicians, and had spent all that she had; and she was no better, but rather grew worse." Raise your hand if you've never noticed this verse before so I know I'm not alone.
You know, this verse given in the context of the story says so much without really saying anything. Obviously this woman was in great sickness and had most likely become an outcast as she was bleeding for 12 years. I have always viewed her as just that too; something similar to a beggar woman. The truth of it, though, and judging by this one verse, is this woman had to be well off at some time in her life. I'm thinking she had access to money and was a woman of some importance. How else would she be able to go through "many physicians"?
And in trying to find the cure to her ailment she lost everything; something we all know about. How many times do we try to "fix" something wrong with us only to lose friends, or bring shame to our family, or lose our home or savings. We keep searching and searching for the cure until everything we have, all that defines us is gone.
Except we forget to try Jesus and, like the woman in our story, in a desperate move we finally reach out for him only to find out the cure really was as simple as all that. But one question remains - where or who is Jesus? Just look around, my friends, because Jesus is everywhere. He is in those closest to us and those we only meet once. Jesus lives in the moments of life and the people we come into contact with. We just need to break through the crowded-ness we call life to get to him. Once we do, the healing will begin.
Mark 5:26 says, "She endured much under many physicians, and had spent all that she had; and she was no better, but rather grew worse." Raise your hand if you've never noticed this verse before so I know I'm not alone.
You know, this verse given in the context of the story says so much without really saying anything. Obviously this woman was in great sickness and had most likely become an outcast as she was bleeding for 12 years. I have always viewed her as just that too; something similar to a beggar woman. The truth of it, though, and judging by this one verse, is this woman had to be well off at some time in her life. I'm thinking she had access to money and was a woman of some importance. How else would she be able to go through "many physicians"?
And in trying to find the cure to her ailment she lost everything; something we all know about. How many times do we try to "fix" something wrong with us only to lose friends, or bring shame to our family, or lose our home or savings. We keep searching and searching for the cure until everything we have, all that defines us is gone.
Except we forget to try Jesus and, like the woman in our story, in a desperate move we finally reach out for him only to find out the cure really was as simple as all that. But one question remains - where or who is Jesus? Just look around, my friends, because Jesus is everywhere. He is in those closest to us and those we only meet once. Jesus lives in the moments of life and the people we come into contact with. We just need to break through the crowded-ness we call life to get to him. Once we do, the healing will begin.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Knowing Is Good, But...
While reflecting on today's passage I'm reminded about a bookmark I made in high school. This bookmark had motivational sayings I would sometimes refer to in order to get myself on track for a project, or feel better about myself in a given situation. It was something I never shared with anyone because I thought people would think I wasn't cool for carrying around weird stuff.
It's really funny, but the only saying I can recall from that bookmark is "Knowing is good, but doing is better." Those were words I would actually model myself after. It wasn't enough to just learn something, I had to apply it as well. Whether it was with school, work, or at home I would catch myself saying "I know that" and start doing something about whatever it was I knew. I'm not sure where I came up with the words for my bookmark, nor do I know why I made such a thing in the first place, but I kept that bookmark for a long time until one day I couldn't find it anymore. Even though I no longer had the bookmark that one phrase stuck with me and every so often I'm reminded about it. Today is one of those times.
If you remember the breakthrough I wrote about yesterday about my being true to myself you will be happy to know it's been 2 days of exactly that; and these last 2 days have been the least stressful for me in the last 4 weeks. In fact, they have been the least stressful for everyone. There hasn't been any arguments, raising of voices, accusations, or any other negative behaviors. In fact, the students had the majority of their finals today and everyone passed with a B or better.
Am I saying this all happened because I changed how I approach each day; absolutely not. What I am saying is there was actually no tension in the classroom today. And maybe that's the point Paul is making in 2 Corinthians 8:7-15. It looks to me that Paul is trying to make the argument that there are some of us who know better, have known for about a year now, so it's time for them to step it up and take the lead in their community to break through the division occurring in Corinth. Sounds like good advice to me.
Maybe it's something we could all start doing. If you see something you know is wrong, do something about it. If you know doing something would make a situation better, do it. If you know someone who needs help, help them. If you know, do.
I wish I could find that bookmark.
It's really funny, but the only saying I can recall from that bookmark is "Knowing is good, but doing is better." Those were words I would actually model myself after. It wasn't enough to just learn something, I had to apply it as well. Whether it was with school, work, or at home I would catch myself saying "I know that" and start doing something about whatever it was I knew. I'm not sure where I came up with the words for my bookmark, nor do I know why I made such a thing in the first place, but I kept that bookmark for a long time until one day I couldn't find it anymore. Even though I no longer had the bookmark that one phrase stuck with me and every so often I'm reminded about it. Today is one of those times.
If you remember the breakthrough I wrote about yesterday about my being true to myself you will be happy to know it's been 2 days of exactly that; and these last 2 days have been the least stressful for me in the last 4 weeks. In fact, they have been the least stressful for everyone. There hasn't been any arguments, raising of voices, accusations, or any other negative behaviors. In fact, the students had the majority of their finals today and everyone passed with a B or better.
Am I saying this all happened because I changed how I approach each day; absolutely not. What I am saying is there was actually no tension in the classroom today. And maybe that's the point Paul is making in 2 Corinthians 8:7-15. It looks to me that Paul is trying to make the argument that there are some of us who know better, have known for about a year now, so it's time for them to step it up and take the lead in their community to break through the division occurring in Corinth. Sounds like good advice to me.
Maybe it's something we could all start doing. If you see something you know is wrong, do something about it. If you know doing something would make a situation better, do it. If you know someone who needs help, help them. If you know, do.
I wish I could find that bookmark.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
A Breakthrough!
As I sat and reflected on today's Psalm my heart landed on a single verse. Psalm 30:2 says, "O, Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me." Perfect words for the inspiration I had yesterday with the Youth I've shared my life with every weekday for the past 4 weeks. This inspiration came as emotions from everyone came to a feverish pitch, causing a few of us to "lose it". In that moment I took a step back and prayed to God to please show me a way.
Then the heavens opened and a beam of the brightest light broke through the dark clouds as a winged angel appeared at my side and said, "maybe it's you." And you know what, she was right; it is me. In order to get along better with my co-worker I've been changing my approach, and in the process changing who I am. I don't like this version of me, and neither do those around me. So, in changing to make one person happy, I made everyone else around me miserable, including me.
And there it is. I have forgotten the words of advice I often give to others - above all else be true to yourself. So, beginning today I will be true to myself. No more penalizing people for minor infractions (like talking), or demanding respect, or threatening people with negative connotations. I will be who I am, and as far as I can tell that person is a really good guy.
I will live the words of Psalm 30:11-12 - "You have turned my mourning into dancing; you have taken off my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, so that my soul may praise you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever."
Then the heavens opened and a beam of the brightest light broke through the dark clouds as a winged angel appeared at my side and said, "maybe it's you." And you know what, she was right; it is me. In order to get along better with my co-worker I've been changing my approach, and in the process changing who I am. I don't like this version of me, and neither do those around me. So, in changing to make one person happy, I made everyone else around me miserable, including me.
And there it is. I have forgotten the words of advice I often give to others - above all else be true to yourself. So, beginning today I will be true to myself. No more penalizing people for minor infractions (like talking), or demanding respect, or threatening people with negative connotations. I will be who I am, and as far as I can tell that person is a really good guy.
I will live the words of Psalm 30:11-12 - "You have turned my mourning into dancing; you have taken off my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, so that my soul may praise you and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever."
Monday, June 25, 2012
Through It All
We're doing something a little different this week and beginning with something other than the Psalm. While the Psalm for this week is uplifting and filled with wonderful images of a God who restores our lives (more on that tomorrow), our reading today from Lamentations 3:22-33 is not. With verses like "to put one's mouth to the dust", and "be filled with insults" one might be hard-pressed to find the message of hope and God's love the passage is really trying to give us.
I'm on the first of the final 3 days of summer school. Those who follow this blog will know how challenging this experience has been for me. It's been 4 weeks of frustration that in the last week has been filled with dread more than anything else. To be honest I spent most of last night contemplating ways of not going in at all these last few days. But God has other plans, and so my thoughts were cast aside and my heart reminded me why I do what I do on a daily basis; for the youth I see and interact with daily.
So, today's lamentation, which asks us to endure through all types of hardships until the love of our God brings our soul to a safe place, is a good place to start; at least for me. I don't know what these last few days of summer school will bring, nor do I know how I or others around me will react. What I do know is that my God is with me through it all and when the time is right I'll be with my God again in a time of peace.
The second to last verse in our passage says, "[God] will have compassion according to the abundance of [God's] steadfast love." I believe this with all my being. So, yes, this might be the most challenging time in my recent history, but with God's guiding Spirit I will get through it all.
I'm on the first of the final 3 days of summer school. Those who follow this blog will know how challenging this experience has been for me. It's been 4 weeks of frustration that in the last week has been filled with dread more than anything else. To be honest I spent most of last night contemplating ways of not going in at all these last few days. But God has other plans, and so my thoughts were cast aside and my heart reminded me why I do what I do on a daily basis; for the youth I see and interact with daily.
So, today's lamentation, which asks us to endure through all types of hardships until the love of our God brings our soul to a safe place, is a good place to start; at least for me. I don't know what these last few days of summer school will bring, nor do I know how I or others around me will react. What I do know is that my God is with me through it all and when the time is right I'll be with my God again in a time of peace.
The second to last verse in our passage says, "[God] will have compassion according to the abundance of [God's] steadfast love." I believe this with all my being. So, yes, this might be the most challenging time in my recent history, but with God's guiding Spirit I will get through it all.
Friday, June 22, 2012
In The Same Boat
Today's passage from Mark 4:35-41 kind of brings my week to a perfect end. It reminds me that in some way or another we all go through bad things in life with those around us. And it's by our faith in God we help each other get through these times.
Our summer school class had a very trying day yesterday. The students can sense the end with only 3 days to go and are getting restless. The teacher is trying her best to maintain some sort of order in the class, but is being resisted at almost every try and is feeling the frustration. And I'm stuck in the middle of keeping the class calm and the teacher from losing it.
It's been this way for almost the entire summer school, and it hasn't been easy, and to be perfectly honest it's through my daily devotions and ability to "escape" to a home and church where love is all that lives which has helped me through these times. After reading today's passage, though, I realize I'm not the only one going through these tough times. We're all in one boat, so to speak, and the storm around us is building; winds billowing, waves pounding at the boat's sides, and the boat is beginning to take on water.
One of the girls in the class told me yesterday, "Mr., you need to find a way to help Miss relax, you're the only calm person in here." My reply was that we all need to help her by just doing the things she asks, without attitude, and get through the next 3 days the best we can. She just smiled and nodded.
Now I wonder what other things in our lives need not only the voice of calm, but also the knowledge that we're all in it together. We don't go through our troubling times alone, not ever. We have family, friends, caring adults or teenagers or children. We also have our God. We're all in one boat, going through the same storms, and now more than ever we need each other.
Our summer school class had a very trying day yesterday. The students can sense the end with only 3 days to go and are getting restless. The teacher is trying her best to maintain some sort of order in the class, but is being resisted at almost every try and is feeling the frustration. And I'm stuck in the middle of keeping the class calm and the teacher from losing it.
It's been this way for almost the entire summer school, and it hasn't been easy, and to be perfectly honest it's through my daily devotions and ability to "escape" to a home and church where love is all that lives which has helped me through these times. After reading today's passage, though, I realize I'm not the only one going through these tough times. We're all in one boat, so to speak, and the storm around us is building; winds billowing, waves pounding at the boat's sides, and the boat is beginning to take on water.
One of the girls in the class told me yesterday, "Mr., you need to find a way to help Miss relax, you're the only calm person in here." My reply was that we all need to help her by just doing the things she asks, without attitude, and get through the next 3 days the best we can. She just smiled and nodded.
Now I wonder what other things in our lives need not only the voice of calm, but also the knowledge that we're all in it together. We don't go through our troubling times alone, not ever. We have family, friends, caring adults or teenagers or children. We also have our God. We're all in one boat, going through the same storms, and now more than ever we need each other.
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Sometimes We Get In Our Own Way
Today's reading is extremely timely for me. I'm having a difficult time at my summer job and feel as though I'm ready to explode as my stress level is tested its extreme boundaries. The days are becoming more of a battle between "do what I say and do it now" and "I understand we each have our own way of learning, and you need to be allowed to express yourself".
One thing I remember from a Civics class I took is that one person's rights end where another's begins. This usually helps me in finding fair boundaries for everyone to live in. Except that these past few days has honestly been filled with those around me pushing against those boundaries and as an educator I need to consider those in the class who want to learn but cannot with all the "noise", So it's important to enforce those boundaries.
And there it is - enforce. A comment was made yesterday by one of the students in regards to my enforcing classroom rules. He said, "Mr., don't you notice that the more you enforce the rules the more disruptive the class gets." I took a step back and realized he was right; which told me there was now a line drawn in the sand between the students and the teachers and the battle was about to get worse.
By the end of the day I was using negative reinforcement by subtracting points for not following directions. It came down to one student versus me; and it was the student who made the comment about them getting worse. Finally, after having almost all the points he had earned in the day he said, "Mr., why you gotta be like that?"
My response was simple and quiet, "I'm not the one at fault, you're the one continuing to be disruptive, even after you knew there was going to be a penalty. And, in case you haven't noticed, you're the only one continuing to be that way." He looked around and saw that everyone else was in their seat, working in their groups on their in-class assignments.
Paul's message is almost the same in today's passage from 2 Corinthians 6:1-13. Paul is telling the church at Corinth that he and his followers are trying everything they can and giving everything they have to help them be a unified people. It's because of the continued actions from those who oppose Paul the disruptions are happening. I especially like verse 12 when it says, "there is no restrictions in our affection, but only in yours."
If people are being disruptive in and around you just to test your limits you need to be firm in your love and acceptance of them anyway. Sooner or later those involved will see the truth in the love you have for them. It may not be easy, it will test your limits and tolerance levels, but with God's encouraging love you will find a way to get through.
One thing I remember from a Civics class I took is that one person's rights end where another's begins. This usually helps me in finding fair boundaries for everyone to live in. Except that these past few days has honestly been filled with those around me pushing against those boundaries and as an educator I need to consider those in the class who want to learn but cannot with all the "noise", So it's important to enforce those boundaries.
And there it is - enforce. A comment was made yesterday by one of the students in regards to my enforcing classroom rules. He said, "Mr., don't you notice that the more you enforce the rules the more disruptive the class gets." I took a step back and realized he was right; which told me there was now a line drawn in the sand between the students and the teachers and the battle was about to get worse.
By the end of the day I was using negative reinforcement by subtracting points for not following directions. It came down to one student versus me; and it was the student who made the comment about them getting worse. Finally, after having almost all the points he had earned in the day he said, "Mr., why you gotta be like that?"
My response was simple and quiet, "I'm not the one at fault, you're the one continuing to be disruptive, even after you knew there was going to be a penalty. And, in case you haven't noticed, you're the only one continuing to be that way." He looked around and saw that everyone else was in their seat, working in their groups on their in-class assignments.
Paul's message is almost the same in today's passage from 2 Corinthians 6:1-13. Paul is telling the church at Corinth that he and his followers are trying everything they can and giving everything they have to help them be a unified people. It's because of the continued actions from those who oppose Paul the disruptions are happening. I especially like verse 12 when it says, "there is no restrictions in our affection, but only in yours."
If people are being disruptive in and around you just to test your limits you need to be firm in your love and acceptance of them anyway. Sooner or later those involved will see the truth in the love you have for them. It may not be easy, it will test your limits and tolerance levels, but with God's encouraging love you will find a way to get through.
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