You Know That Place, Between This Or That

What2Say2Day? Every so often we find ourselves at a crossroads in life. A time when a decision we make will affect our lives in an unknown way. I'm not talking about what to have for dinner or whether we should get the burger or the salad, I'm talking about decisions which will affect you, your family, your friends, and your lifestyle - or not.

I was talking with a friend last night about this subject. He has been in the same relationship for almost 10 years and just came to the realization he doesn't love her and most likely never did. He said he has been feeling this way, off and on, for about a year and a half and now has the absolute conviction he doesn't share the same feelings in the relationship she does.

They are not married but do share property. She has a son from a previous marriage that he spends a lot of time with. He appreciates the times they spend together and how she takes care of him. He also enjoys doing small things for her to make her happy; the occasional gift for no reason, a surprise date night when her son isn't home. But he doesn't think he loves her.

I asked what love was supposed to look like to him. He thought for what seemed minutes until he answered, "Like what I have with her, I guess." I then asked him what love should feel like to him. He thought even longer about that question and couldn't come up with an answer.

"Do you think of her when you're not with her?" "Yes."
"Do you call her when you feel yourself wanting to be with her?" "Yes."
"Does being in her presence make you happy?" "Yes"
"Do you ever fight?" "No."
"Do you share things with her you don't share with anyone else?" "Yes"
"Do you find yourself wanting to be with others?"    "No."
"Would you give your life for hers?"                "Yes."

That last question almost made him cry. As soon as that conversation was over he got on the phone and walked around the corner. About a minute later he came back, still on the phone, and quietly said, "I love you too."