What2Say2Day? I read a story on msnbc news yesterday which sent my normally emotionally balanced senses into a spin (follow this link if you want to read it - http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/46306931). The story involved a 19 year old girl who was sentenced to life with parole for killing her 9 year old neighbor a few years ago. She tells of her murder in a diary, calling it "ahmazing" and saying she just wanted to see what it felt like to kill someone. She also writes in her diary that after the murder she was shaky and nervous, which was followed by her writing "Kay, I gotta go to church now...lol." The report says she actually went to a youth dance at her church after strangling and stabbing that little girl.
This story sent me into a shock, as I'm sure most of you are. I kept saying to myself, "Why? What would cause a 15 year old to do such a thing?" I spoke to a fellow worker at my church who had read the story, and he was just as puzzled as I was. We shared this story with other church staff and I sensed a feel of, "What do we do?" in the room.
Later that night, as the thoughts of this story kept circling through my soul, I had the opportunity to share with a few Young Adults from our church. We talked for a good hour or so about how this story made us feel, and what could lead to someone doing something like this just because they wanted to know how it felt. We all agreed that the story was shocking if not a little disturbing. We could see how living in a community, or a non-community, where nobody takes the time to make and develop relationships can be harmful.
We also agreed that we all know someone like this. Not to this extent, but someone who is on the edges, an outcast, someone who is isolated for whatever reasons from everyone else. Which is where we made the decision to be more Christ-like in our own ways and reach out to these people by listening more, being more aware of the people we come into contact with, and if allowed dig deeper into the relationships to understand what is going on in their lives.
Yes, stories like this happen more often than we would like. The question for us is do we perpetuate them by remaining in a state of shock and do nothing or do we find a way to find God within the stories. Let me end with today's entry with a question posed by one of our Young Adults - As Christ who would you visit first, the family of the 9 year old, or the family of the 19 year old?
Choose one and visit. Then go visit the other.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
You Know That Place, Between This Or That
What2Say2Day? Every so often we find ourselves at a crossroads in life. A time when a decision we make will affect our lives in an unknown way. I'm not talking about what to have for dinner or whether we should get the burger or the salad, I'm talking about decisions which will affect you, your family, your friends, and your lifestyle - or not.
I was talking with a friend last night about this subject. He has been in the same relationship for almost 10 years and just came to the realization he doesn't love her and most likely never did. He said he has been feeling this way, off and on, for about a year and a half and now has the absolute conviction he doesn't share the same feelings in the relationship she does.
They are not married but do share property. She has a son from a previous marriage that he spends a lot of time with. He appreciates the times they spend together and how she takes care of him. He also enjoys doing small things for her to make her happy; the occasional gift for no reason, a surprise date night when her son isn't home. But he doesn't think he loves her.
I asked what love was supposed to look like to him. He thought for what seemed minutes until he answered, "Like what I have with her, I guess." I then asked him what love should feel like to him. He thought even longer about that question and couldn't come up with an answer.
"Do you think of her when you're not with her?" "Yes."
"Do you call her when you feel yourself wanting to be with her?" "Yes."
"Does being in her presence make you happy?" "Yes"
"Do you ever fight?" "No."
"Do you share things with her you don't share with anyone else?" "Yes"
"Do you find yourself wanting to be with others?" "No."
"Would you give your life for hers?" "Yes."
That last question almost made him cry. As soon as that conversation was over he got on the phone and walked around the corner. About a minute later he came back, still on the phone, and quietly said, "I love you too."
I was talking with a friend last night about this subject. He has been in the same relationship for almost 10 years and just came to the realization he doesn't love her and most likely never did. He said he has been feeling this way, off and on, for about a year and a half and now has the absolute conviction he doesn't share the same feelings in the relationship she does.
They are not married but do share property. She has a son from a previous marriage that he spends a lot of time with. He appreciates the times they spend together and how she takes care of him. He also enjoys doing small things for her to make her happy; the occasional gift for no reason, a surprise date night when her son isn't home. But he doesn't think he loves her.
I asked what love was supposed to look like to him. He thought for what seemed minutes until he answered, "Like what I have with her, I guess." I then asked him what love should feel like to him. He thought even longer about that question and couldn't come up with an answer.
"Do you think of her when you're not with her?" "Yes."
"Do you call her when you feel yourself wanting to be with her?" "Yes."
"Does being in her presence make you happy?" "Yes"
"Do you ever fight?" "No."
"Do you share things with her you don't share with anyone else?" "Yes"
"Do you find yourself wanting to be with others?" "No."
"Would you give your life for hers?" "Yes."
That last question almost made him cry. As soon as that conversation was over he got on the phone and walked around the corner. About a minute later he came back, still on the phone, and quietly said, "I love you too."
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
A POV From Someone Else
What2Say2Day? Once again someone says it better than I could.
http://act.ucc.org/site/MessageViewer?em_id=40661.0&dlv_id=51901
Write Your Own Ending
Excerpt from Mark 16: 9 – 18
"Now when he rose early on the first day of the week, he appeared to Mary Magdalene, from whom he had cast out seven demons."
Reflection by Anthony B. Robinson
You may not be able to find today's reading in the regular part of your Bible. Chances are good that it is hidden in the footnotes in very small print with a line that says, "Not part of the best manuscripts, probably added later." Mark, scholars tell us, really ends at 16: 8 with the words, "They said nothing to anyone for they were afraid." That doesn't so much end as it breaks off. But then someone came along and added on. Wanted to pretty it up.
Not everyone likes that. Apparently some Bible translators don't like it because they bury these verses in the footnotes. I used to not much care for this "added ending" either. "No," I said, "it ends here. Deal with it." (I had been to seminary!) But then it occurred to me that maybe later people adding other endings could have a message. Maybe it is up to each of us to add or write our own ending, or at least a next chapter, in the story. Jesus is raised from the dead, now it's our turn, your turn and mine. With grace alive, it's your turn to write your own ending, your own next chapter, whoever you are and wherever you are.
Prayer
Bind me into your story of resurrection Lord, and free me to write my own part of your story of love and wonder. Amen.
http://act.ucc.org/site/MessageViewer?em_id=40661.0&dlv_id=51901
Write Your Own Ending
Excerpt from Mark 16: 9 – 18
"Now when he rose early on the first day of the week, he appeared to Mary Magdalene, from whom he had cast out seven demons."
Reflection by Anthony B. Robinson
You may not be able to find today's reading in the regular part of your Bible. Chances are good that it is hidden in the footnotes in very small print with a line that says, "Not part of the best manuscripts, probably added later." Mark, scholars tell us, really ends at 16: 8 with the words, "They said nothing to anyone for they were afraid." That doesn't so much end as it breaks off. But then someone came along and added on. Wanted to pretty it up.
Not everyone likes that. Apparently some Bible translators don't like it because they bury these verses in the footnotes. I used to not much care for this "added ending" either. "No," I said, "it ends here. Deal with it." (I had been to seminary!) But then it occurred to me that maybe later people adding other endings could have a message. Maybe it is up to each of us to add or write our own ending, or at least a next chapter, in the story. Jesus is raised from the dead, now it's our turn, your turn and mine. With grace alive, it's your turn to write your own ending, your own next chapter, whoever you are and wherever you are.
Prayer
Bind me into your story of resurrection Lord, and free me to write my own part of your story of love and wonder. Amen.
Monday, February 6, 2012
Let Nothing Stop You
What2Say2Day? On Friday I was privileged to witness the fruition of a project taken on by one of the youth I work with at school. Let me state right from the beginning this young man has what we political-correctly call special abilities. At the beginning of the year he firmly stated that his year-end project would be conducting the high school band as they play an arrangement of his making. (For those not familiar with the year-end projects many Hawaii high schools do it involves a research paper, a final product of some kind that relates to the research, and a presentation of the project to a board of educators.)
His adult mentors called it lofty, and were upfront with him in saying there would be many obstacles along the way, but if this is what he wanted they would fully support him as much as it was in their power to do so. And obstacles there were. Firstly we had to pick a research question. When asked why he wanted to do this project and what community impact would be made by it he firmly stated that he understood music has emotional effects on people, and he wanted his music to have the same.
Next on the list of obstacles was finding a mentor who could work with his abilities and knew music enough to guide him through making an arrangement. This proved difficult as those who were willing to work with his abilities didn't know enough about music and those who knew music couldn't work with his abilities. Nevertheless every avenue was exhausted until a mentor was found.
Then came the endless days of research, arranging, writing his paper, arranging, making sure he didn't fall behind in his other classes (which, by the way, include physics and trigonometry) and arranging. Then, this past Friday, despite all obstacles both physical and emotional, he stood before the band as all eyes focused on him, some in admiration, and conducted a musical piece of his own arrangement.
If his end goal was to bring awareness that music causes emotion in people then I have to say he passed with an A+. Congratulations, young man, for never quitting on yourself and for allowing others to guide you along the way.
His adult mentors called it lofty, and were upfront with him in saying there would be many obstacles along the way, but if this is what he wanted they would fully support him as much as it was in their power to do so. And obstacles there were. Firstly we had to pick a research question. When asked why he wanted to do this project and what community impact would be made by it he firmly stated that he understood music has emotional effects on people, and he wanted his music to have the same.
Next on the list of obstacles was finding a mentor who could work with his abilities and knew music enough to guide him through making an arrangement. This proved difficult as those who were willing to work with his abilities didn't know enough about music and those who knew music couldn't work with his abilities. Nevertheless every avenue was exhausted until a mentor was found.
Then came the endless days of research, arranging, writing his paper, arranging, making sure he didn't fall behind in his other classes (which, by the way, include physics and trigonometry) and arranging. Then, this past Friday, despite all obstacles both physical and emotional, he stood before the band as all eyes focused on him, some in admiration, and conducted a musical piece of his own arrangement.
If his end goal was to bring awareness that music causes emotion in people then I have to say he passed with an A+. Congratulations, young man, for never quitting on yourself and for allowing others to guide you along the way.
Friday, February 3, 2012
A New Way - Part B
What2Say2Day? Yesterday we explored the postmodern child and discovered they live in a world where words and actions influence them in such a way that they have developed, or are developing, an ethic of creating "rules" which govern their lives in such a way as to ensure they are happy; never mind everyone else. The postmodern culture of "whats-in-it-for-me" and "why should I bother if it's not about me" is creating a community, or non-community, of individuals.
So, as educators what can we do? As a true educator I came up with an acronym to help us out. Just keep it REAL.
R - Relational. Even in a society of individuals humans crave relationship. These relationships need to be based on honesty, trust and integrity. If we are to be a part of the child's society we must first be their friend. I'm talking about a true friend; one who supports as well as one who let's them know when things are not right.
E - Experiential. I first heard this word in my Christian Education class (Thank you Dr. Brokenleg for everything your teachings have opened my heart to). Today's child is bombarded with multimedia. Their senses are being attacked from every angle by everything. We need to be in this world as well. Show and Tell is back; actually it's more like tell and show, then tell again. Today's child wants to know what we're doing and why we're doing it before they actually do it. Then, after it's been done, they want to talk about their experiences.
A - Applicable. Remember, if whatever you're doing doesn't seem to have an impact, immediate or future, on their lives they just won't care about it. Show them how it applies. Math is more than numbers, it's problem solving...English is more than reading and writing, it's effective communication...History is more than obscure names doing obscure things in obscure places a million years ago, it's how decisions we make in this world make us who we are today and into the future.
L - Likeable. It has to be fun! Play games, make them laugh, tell them personal stories, get them involved, validate their words and actions, just have fun.
For those of us who want to go the extra steps I want to add 2 more letters to our acronym. REALLY.
L - Love! Care about our children. They need to be loved. Not only are our children living in a postmodern culture, so are the adults. Nothing hurts a child more than when their parents take them to all their activities only to complain about not having enough time to do things for themselves.Spend time with our children, get involved in their lives, talk with them and listen to them.
Y - Yahweh. This one honestly incorporates all of the above. Be the Christ others are looking for. That's all I got to say about that.
There it is, all laid out for us and ready to go, right. None of this is easy, it takes a willingness on our part to change for others. That idea is counter cultural in a postmodern world. Maybe that's what we need, though; counterculturism (I think I just invented a word).
So, as educators what can we do? As a true educator I came up with an acronym to help us out. Just keep it REAL.
R - Relational. Even in a society of individuals humans crave relationship. These relationships need to be based on honesty, trust and integrity. If we are to be a part of the child's society we must first be their friend. I'm talking about a true friend; one who supports as well as one who let's them know when things are not right.
E - Experiential. I first heard this word in my Christian Education class (Thank you Dr. Brokenleg for everything your teachings have opened my heart to). Today's child is bombarded with multimedia. Their senses are being attacked from every angle by everything. We need to be in this world as well. Show and Tell is back; actually it's more like tell and show, then tell again. Today's child wants to know what we're doing and why we're doing it before they actually do it. Then, after it's been done, they want to talk about their experiences.
A - Applicable. Remember, if whatever you're doing doesn't seem to have an impact, immediate or future, on their lives they just won't care about it. Show them how it applies. Math is more than numbers, it's problem solving...English is more than reading and writing, it's effective communication...History is more than obscure names doing obscure things in obscure places a million years ago, it's how decisions we make in this world make us who we are today and into the future.
L - Likeable. It has to be fun! Play games, make them laugh, tell them personal stories, get them involved, validate their words and actions, just have fun.
For those of us who want to go the extra steps I want to add 2 more letters to our acronym. REALLY.
L - Love! Care about our children. They need to be loved. Not only are our children living in a postmodern culture, so are the adults. Nothing hurts a child more than when their parents take them to all their activities only to complain about not having enough time to do things for themselves.Spend time with our children, get involved in their lives, talk with them and listen to them.
Y - Yahweh. This one honestly incorporates all of the above. Be the Christ others are looking for. That's all I got to say about that.
There it is, all laid out for us and ready to go, right. None of this is easy, it takes a willingness on our part to change for others. That idea is counter cultural in a postmodern world. Maybe that's what we need, though; counterculturism (I think I just invented a word).
Thursday, February 2, 2012
A New Way
What2Say2Day? This morning I'm trying something new; posting my thoughts via a wireless device. I'm mostly doing this because I needed a ride to work today and had to leave my house an hour earlier than usual. As I sit here and type with my thumbs I'm amused at how easy this actually is.
Yesterday I was looking for a book I wanted to re-read to help give me ideas for a new ministry. In the process I came across another book about how Children's Ministry is being affected by the postmodern culture in which we live. The book included lessons for Sunday School, different ways to involve parents, and ideas on community service and gatherings.
The book also gave a brief description on what Children in the postmodern era are like. The author stated that these children are growing up in a society where the rules are being defined by personal beliefs and experiences rather than societal teachings. The children in today's culture are being taught through instantaneous information on the internet, ad campaigns, and reality tv that they are allowed, in fact encouraged, to make their own decisions based on what will personally be best for them.
In other words, the rules that maintain a community and a society are no longer valid. "What's best for me is what's best" seems to be the mantra our children are learning.
So, what do we do, or how do we teach our children on a culture which promotes this. Let's save that for tomorrow.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Oh What A Beautiful Morning, Oh What a Beautiful Day
What2Say2Day? I just have to know...Who broke into song reading that title? The answer to that may just show your age and how in touch you are with the age groups around you.
The other day while tutoring some kids after school one of them started coughing and complaining about the vog (look back a few blogs to learn about what vog is). Another one of the students then asked what vog was, and a reply came from several others that it's blown in from the volcano. As I thought "close enough" I broke into song...Sing along if you can:
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know where I'm a gonna go when the volcano blows (da da da da da)
I don't know!
I don't know, I don't know.....
I must have been surrounded by a dozen of our wonderful youth, each looking at me as though I was a weirdo. "What?!" was my only response, "that's a song, you know, by Jimmy Buffett." This proclamation was swiftly followed by deeper, more thoughtful looks of weirdness.
A conversation ensued, accompanied by validations from YouTube, about who Jimmy Buffett was and how his music spans all generations. We talked at length about how music influences our understandings of self and community. We analyzed how Jimmy's music went straight to that place which calls out for a life of peace with no responsibilities.
Ok, I did all the validating, and talking, and analyzing. Then I listened. They told me of their music and how it influenced their ideas of self and community. They analyzed songs which spoke of a life where we all get along and enjoy the presence of one another. They even validated their point with YouTube and a large sing-along.
I could only smile as I looked around at our youth, enjoying each other, in a room where nobody judged them, or put restrictions of pressured expectations on them. We were in a place filled with love, acceptance, and joy. And the background music was gangsta rap.
Thank you, God, for that day!
The other day while tutoring some kids after school one of them started coughing and complaining about the vog (look back a few blogs to learn about what vog is). Another one of the students then asked what vog was, and a reply came from several others that it's blown in from the volcano. As I thought "close enough" I broke into song...Sing along if you can:
I don't know, I don't know, I don't know where I'm a gonna go when the volcano blows (da da da da da)
I don't know!
I don't know, I don't know.....
I must have been surrounded by a dozen of our wonderful youth, each looking at me as though I was a weirdo. "What?!" was my only response, "that's a song, you know, by Jimmy Buffett." This proclamation was swiftly followed by deeper, more thoughtful looks of weirdness.
A conversation ensued, accompanied by validations from YouTube, about who Jimmy Buffett was and how his music spans all generations. We talked at length about how music influences our understandings of self and community. We analyzed how Jimmy's music went straight to that place which calls out for a life of peace with no responsibilities.
Ok, I did all the validating, and talking, and analyzing. Then I listened. They told me of their music and how it influenced their ideas of self and community. They analyzed songs which spoke of a life where we all get along and enjoy the presence of one another. They even validated their point with YouTube and a large sing-along.
I could only smile as I looked around at our youth, enjoying each other, in a room where nobody judged them, or put restrictions of pressured expectations on them. We were in a place filled with love, acceptance, and joy. And the background music was gangsta rap.
Thank you, God, for that day!
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